Faith-Filled Women Can Still Have Painful Questions
“Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”
—John 11:21, 32
Have you ever wondered where God was when you needed Him most?
Perhaps you prayed, waited, and believed He would intervene—but the answer did not come. The relationship still ended. The diagnosis was still given. The loss still happened. The door remained closed.
You knew God was able to change the circumstances, which made His apparent silence even harder to understand.
Mary and Martha knew this tension well.
When their brother Lazarus became sick, they sent word to Jesus: “Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick” (John 11:3). They knew Jesus loved Lazarus. They had seen His power and believed He could heal. Surely, they thought, He would come.
But Jesus waited.
By the time He arrived in Bethany, Lazarus had been in the tomb for four days. Both sisters greeted Him with the same painful words: “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”
Those words were not spoken by faithless women. They were spoken by women who loved Jesus, trusted His power, and could not reconcile His love with His decision to wait.
They believed He could have prevented their suffering. They simply could not understand why He had not.
Faith Gives Us Somewhere to Take Our Questions
Mary and Martha did not hide their confusion or pretend that everything was fine. They brought their disappointment directly to Jesus.
Their questions were not the opposite of faith. Their faith was what gave them a safe place to ask those questions.
Scripture repeatedly invites us to bring our honest hearts to God:
“Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us” (Psalm 62:8).
Faith does not require us to understand everything God permits. It does not require us to deny our pain, suppress our grief, or pretend that we are unaffected by loss.
Faith says, “I do not understand this, Lord, but I am bringing what I do not understand to You.”
Jesus Did Not Rebuke Their Grief
I love how Jesus responded to these two women.
He did not shame them for asking hard questions. He did not lecture them about having stronger faith. He met each sister personally within her sorrow.
With Martha, Jesus spoke truth: “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25).
With Mary, He wept.
Jesus knew Lazarus would soon walk out of the tomb, yet He still entered their grief. He saw Mary weeping, became deeply troubled, and wept beside her.
His knowledge of the outcome did not make their present pain insignificant.
God may be working toward a purpose we cannot yet see, but that does not mean our pain does not matter to Him. He is not standing at a distance, impatiently waiting for us to “get over it.” Jesus enters our sorrow. He is near to the brokenhearted and compassionate toward those who are hurting.
His Delay Did Not Mean He Had Stopped Loving Them
John makes an important statement before telling us that Jesus waited:
“Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed two more days” (John 11:5–6).
Jesus loved them—and He waited.
His delay was not denial, neglect, punishment, or a lack of love. It was part of a greater purpose they could not see yet.
Mary and Martha could see only what Jesus had not done. Jesus could already see what He was preparing to reveal.
When God is silent, it does not mean He is absent. When His answer is delayed, it does not mean He has stopped loving us. What appears to be an unanswered prayer may be a story God has not yet finished.
From Knowing What He Can Do to Knowing Who He Is
Martha believed in the resurrection as a future event. She told Jesus, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day” (John 11:24).
But Jesus wanted her to know more than a doctrine. He wanted her to know Him:
“I am the resurrection and the life.”
Suffering has a way of moving truth from our heads into our lived experience. We may know that God is faithful, but waiting teaches us to depend upon His faithfulness. We may know that God comforts, but sorrow allows us to experience His comfort personally.
Sometimes we are asking God to change our circumstances while He is revealing more of Himself within them.
You Can Have Faith and Still Ask Why
Faith-filled women can still have painful questions.
You can trust God and still grieve.
You can believe He is good and still struggle to understand what He has allowed.
You can know that He has a greater purpose and still acknowledge that what you are experiencing hurts.
The question is not whether we will ever ask, “Lord, where were You?” The question is where we will take that question.
Mary and Martha took theirs to Jesus—and so can we.
Perhaps today our prayer can simply be:
“Lord, I do not understand Your timing, but I choose to trust Your heart. Meet me in my sorrow. Reveal more of Yourself to me here. While I am waiting for You to do something about my circumstances, please do something within me.”
Our questions do not frighten Jesus or push Him away. When we bring them honestly to Him, they can become the very place where we encounter Him more deeply.
