Dysfunction Behind the Door

Dysfunction Behind the Door

I hold a strong conviction for the sanctity of marriage and family. Choosing to press into the truths of Scripture for my help. I have found that to be a true source of strength and comfort in life’s issues. My greatest fighting power has been on my knees!

My heart carries this heavy burden for women who are crying out for help for their marriages and families. Feeling as if no one hears them. The number of households being affected by abuse (verbal and/or physical) and addiction is staggering. And unfortunately, has become the norm for many families. Whether you live in a traditional family setting or have generations of relatives you reside with, your living arrangements come with conflict. Women reaching out for help and asking those pertinent questions of  “what do I do?” “what is the next step?”. I think back through all the years of decisions I had to make for my own family and now have the hindsight of experience on my side. Did I do it all right? No way. There is no easy answer. Yet with determination, wise counsel and support from others, we can make the best choices for our families welfare. There will still be mistakes and failures but even those can lead us in the right direction.

It has always been my heart to keep my family together no matter the cost. Certainly, if there are factors that would cause you to be in harm’s way there are steps to take for the safety of yourself and children. Do not remain under the tyranny of an abuser. Seek immediate help. You may be very fearful to go behind his back as the repercussions have been detrimental in the past. But there is no reason at all for you to live under the intimidation and manipulation without the help of others who can assist you in finding a new way to live. What I share may be the right tools for you and they may not as I do not know your individual situation. If you are part of a church call your Pastor and he will guide you to the help you need.

It is time to break the patterns of dysfunction within the home. Scripture states that we, as Christians, are to be characterized by love. That love is to be coupled with truth. As we learn a proper definition of submission and of the roles of each family member can help in these decisions. Again, I am no expert except that I have raised a family in that dysfunction and have sought to keep my family unit intact and not ravaged by divorce. This is tough work and certainly not for the faint of heart. But your strong conviction and hope to have harmony once again are in the future. Why do I believe this? Because we serve a big God who created relationships and stands for us as we stand for truth and justice in our homes.

There are times that I have sought the counsel of well-meaning people and received nuggets that were useful. But most of my experience is in those dark alone moments when all had just broken loose and it was just me and God. Finding myself so desperate for relief from the pain and turmoil and yet knowing these little ones were relying on me to do the right thing. I had purposed in my heart not to abandon them in this mission to become whole again. It is not that I would ever abandon the kids but the vow I had taken to live and love until death do us part. So I had to retreat to my prayer closet and try to remember my “why”. I needed to gain my barring again and not make decisions on the emotional roller coaster I was living.

If this sounds familiar to you and you are longing for some direction than as a friend and sister in Christ I want to share with you the nuggets that brought me hope and healing so that you too may find that place of security and confidence to press in and move forward with the necessary tools. I bring with me the truth of the Scriptures, wise counsel from my mentors and the power of the Holy Spirit to share with you my life in its totality of successes and failures. Some of you will not agree with me and that is quite alright as I do not have all the answers but can point you to the One who does.

These are a few of the topics we will discuss and am very open to topics not listed that may be an immediate need:

  1. Becoming the “victor” and finding that holy confidence
  2. How to channel your emotions; dealing with hurt and hardness of heart
  3. Setting and implementing “next steps” without building walls
  4. Finding a mentor and the importance of accountability
  5. Learning to speak the truth and love even when afraid

We are enrolled in a lifetime of learning and progress is on our side. For those of you who will join me on this journey, I am praying and fasting on your behalf. May God break down those strongholds and deliver you to a place of restoration and living out the plans and purposes He has for you!

Blessings to you my friends,



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